HOLDING MY BREATH UNTIL I CAN BREATHE

I feel like a little kid that holds their breath until they are across the bridge and waiting for that huge breath in to fill them back up. *please tell me someone else played that game too*

Three more days!! I am even more excited than I thought. Along with that excitement comes the anxiety (wowa, lots of that) of wondering if the 6 weeks of antibiotics have really kicked this bug. On all levels it looks good and promising that the infection is gone but we won't know until he is off of everything. That day is Friday! We are ready to be free of the picc line. It has become a part of every day life but not something we have come to enjoy at all (imagine that). We are hopeful for so many things in our lives right now.

Friday night Paul's job is having a fall festival. This will be the first time he has seen his co-workers in about 2 months. He is looking forward to seeing them, I am looking forward to being out and about as a family, we are just ready to celebrate.

I have a lot more tile therapy to go before the neighbor comes in to lay tile next week. It also dawned on me that as he is putting down tile I need to be making 2 dozen cupcakes and 8 pies for the school. Poor planning on my part. I may end up baking the cupcakes and freezing them this weekend and then all I will have to do is frost them next week. The pies....... I need a plan. Perhaps cinnamon rolls......

Two more weeks until Thanksgiving weekend. I LOVE thanksgiving. It is one of my favorite holidays. I try to remember to be thankful for something every day but a whole day to be thankful, be prayerful, AND eat. Does it get any better than that? If you don't have somewhere to go, let me know. We can always cook another turkey!

Ok, off to wipe off the dust while Streeter is sleeping.

Don't let the world beat you down with the word, that isn't what it is there for.

MONDAY MORNING

Mia, Mom, and MaeLynne

FOR YALL WHO MISSED OUT

STREET LOVES CHURCH

Sunday is the only day I drink coffee
I share my cup with Street, he LOVES it

4 DAYS TO GO

TILE THERAPY

I have been using the tile pull up job as therapy to get things back into perspective. I have several hours of therapy in now, I have several to go. I will keep wiping up the tile dust and keep on going.

We are on the count down to PICC line removal. Friday is the day to be free :) I am looking forward to it and so is Paul.

I accomplished zero this weekend and so it is back to work around here.

SCHNEIDERVILLE FORECAST

FORECAST OF THE DAY: dusty with a chance of flying tile accompanied by blisters

Busting out tile again

DIRECT MOUNTAIN DEW

Guest Blogger: Paul

I'm very much ready to get the Picc line done. But I will miss being able to do this;

BLESSED

We have the beds back in the bedrooms and the family room is back to normal. Our neighbor blessed us with this HUGE tv.
The kids enjoyed lounging one morning this week. It was a cool, lazy day.

Trae

Mia

Taeo

more Trae

SCHOOL PLAY

TAEO "J"

MaeLynne "Diggie"

STREET

less than enthused about chore time.

TAKING BETS

on who would win.

STREET

Street has issues. He LOVES the remote. So we found one that he could have and he was in heaven!

HOPE RETURNING

I celebrated last night by bug bombing the house and chasing the kids out (it really wasn't a secret plan just poor planning on my part). After a blow up with the 2nd person who told me I am too 'uptight' I asked Paul (not really nicely) to load the kids up and take them for ice cream. They celebrated with ice cream and I celebrated by taking the sledge hammer to the glue and cement left on the floor. I guess it was cheap therapy and I am a few feet closer to getting the floor ready for tile to be laid next week.

This morning I have a fresh coat of tile dust all over the house, burnt cookies on the cookie sheet in the sink, and kids that still aren't dressed or ready for school. Hmmm I think I am softening with age (but those who told me I am uptight might not agree with THAT). (*can you tell I am bitter about that one*).

We are counting down the days until syringe war. We have a hefty stock of empty flush syringes so it should be fun. Saturday is release day :) I can't believe we have been in this mode for 6 weeks already. It seems like it has been forever and yet it was just yesterday I wondered if my husband would walk out of the hospital. CRAZY

I will be glad to get life into a new normal. I am praying that this new normal is 'new' and fresh, not just the same old life we have been living. I am looking forward to being obsessed with the right things and letting things that have consumed me for the last several months be washed over by His grace.

I am thankful that each day is a new beginning. I am letting go and jumping back in with both feet. I know the water is high but I also know who throws me my life preserver.

Feeling hope returning.

PICC LINE

Pauls picc line comes out next Friday. They won't know if the infection is completely gone until after he is off the meds. Right now we have a week left on oral and iv antibiotics. I am glad to know the end is in sight, a bit nervous about the 'what if' but I am able to stop and breathe a bit right now.

Tonight we celebrate! Loud music and dancing on the table (maybe I will let the kids join me)

HEBREWS 12:12-13

So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong.

This is where my quiet time took me today.

Be blessed!

SAVIOR, PLEASE

BY JOSH WILSON

Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last


I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have

Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing

AN HONEST PURGE

Paul goes into the infectious disease doctor today. He hasn't seen the doc since he was released from the hospital. We generally go in weekly for the weeks worth of meds, clean the PICC line, and a blood draw. This week he will get information from the doctor on how much longer this will drag on. To say I am anxious would be an understatement!

The last few days Paul has been in pain, more pain than normal from what I can read from his behavior. I think it all started over the weekend, I can't remember for sure (the days all jumble together after a while). I am losing hope and if there was ever a time I need some encouragement it would be now. This crazy cycle needs to be over or I need to come to the realization that this is where life has us. I need to know if this is getting better or if this is 'it'. I am not living well in the unknown.

Paul has been in pain since Easter weekend. It has gotten worse, it has gotten better, it has been severe enough he can't tie his shoes, it improved with the first surgery, it has lead to this stupid infection and well it has taken me places I never thought I would revisit. I know my strength and energy is gone and I am surviving on God alone but that means when I turn from Him that I have nothing left. I know that sounds silly but that is where I am.

I struggle because I know this is so small when I look at the other people that visit the infectious disease office three times a week for over 9 years now. They have a group of regulars that come in and have been doing so for years. Why is it that I know this is little compared to some but it seems huge to me at this moment. In an hour it will all look different. Tomorrow it will be a distant memory. But right now, at this very moment it seems too much, too heavy, too hard.

LOVING WORDS FROM OUR MYLEE

Guest Blogger: Paul

Mylee wrote the following letter to us. Brought tears to my eyes.

CABIN FEVER

One of the realities of a picc line is that we are stuck pretty close to home most of the time. We have been out on a few hikes, easy trails! I am so ready to be able to get out of the house for a whole weekend of driving, parks, and picnics. We are looking at heading to Groom over Thanksgiving weekend if the antibiotics are fini by then. We need some quality family time away from home (ok I need to be away from home, the quality time can be anywhere). I would love to take a camping trip but the best camping weather is being lost on PICC line mode. God has something entirely better in store.
I must say this season has been the biggest struggle in faith I have had in a L O N G time. I have faltered more than I care to admit. I am so human and my flesh is weak. But God is faithful and draws me back to Him.
I am certainly not perfect but I am thankful I am forgiven. Iam so glad that he doesn't require we be perfect to be His. I have spent a lot of my time digging my pit of despair only to be thrown a rope and pulled back up by sources I never would have thought would come to my rescue.
Thank you all for your words of encouragement, please keep them coming! We aren't over this yet but we look forward to the day when we say WE MADE IT!

TUESDAY UPDATE

Today I seriously tried to blog. I wanted to update everyone on Paul's health and also let all yalls know how the family is doing. I did it several times and it just was such a downer so I deleted it and went for the picture post instead.

I will try again, with more of an upbeat tone

Paul:

• still has pain in lower back but no pain down the leg where this all started
• I believe we are on week 4 or 5 for antibiotics by PICC line. Infectious disease will tell us on Thursday how many more days the picc line will need to stay in.
• Paul is working pretty close to full days (if not full days already)
• He hasn't taken a nap for a while and can do all the picc line stuff by himself. I feel like I need to be helping him do it, he feels like he can do it, so we just help out where needed
• Paul is working his way back into MaeLynne's heart. She was very standoffish toward her daddy for a couple of months. She snuggled with him tonight.
• we are not angry at all at the hospital because of the infection. We have not even thought about that until someone asked if we would take action. UM nope, never crossed our minds. We need to have Paul healed *that is our only goal.
• Paul is getting around much better than an 80 year old this week, I think we must be down into the 70s or high 60s. Things are improving!
• He is still working from home, isn't this over the 2 month mark? Yep we are all ready for him to go to the office. BUT I must say I do enjoy walking in and just looking at him from time to time. I also like to walk into the office and ask when he will be home from work. I HATE to say it but I am enjoying him in the house sometimes. I NEVER thought I would say THAT.

Me:

• I have more faith in God healing this back thing but I am realistic when I say I don't think his back will get much better (without God doing it)
• I started to focus on what needs to be done around here. Thursday will be my big GETERDUN day around here.
• I feel like I could easily slide into the self pity mode but I am hanging onto the ledge with all I have, I don't want to go there.
• Most of the day I feel OVERWHELMED with things. These things are not the kids or homework but the trying to get the house back into shape. Having the carpet in and the kids beds back in their rooms has been a blessing!
• This weekend we have a HUGE project to do. We are cleaning up the garage from it being the family closet and we are making it into a hang out room. I want to be able to have my friends come over and hang out without having the kids run in and out. We also want to get it to the point of having mens groups or womens groups come over.
• Clothes are being sorted out this weekend (if you have clothes to drop off we will certainly go through them and if there are extra we will share). Thank you to whomever dropped off clothes at the front door. We are enjoying new clothes (God is SO good).

Kids:

• Report cards come out in a week again
• kids are keeping up on their homework
• one parent teacher conference tomorrow
• homework is fairly easy this week, makes me cringe as Thursday rolls closer.
• they are all happy and healthy, a few have sniffles and coughs (no fever or flu, YAY)
• the kids are full of life and personality and they are loved by SO many

Schneiderville continues to be a bit crazy with a lot of loud music spilling out of them speakers. It just makes life much more bearable if you can crank up the music and dance along to the rhythm.

Serious is seriously overrated. I need some chaos and fun to keep me motivated.

JUST A PICTURE

Needing a little hope.

Tyson

14

MacKelti

12

Mia

10

MeilaRose

8

Mylee

8

Trae

8

Taeo

7

MaeLynne

almost 7

DREAMING OF THE ROAD

Ange, Abs, and Ty in front of the dream machine........

SUGAR RUSH FOR STREET

JUST A SWINGING

SUNDAY LUNCH AT THE PARK

ABSTREET

SCHNEIDERVILLE DAY OUTING

ANGE'S PICC LINE

I wanted my own line and this was the tools I had to work with. I don't think it works as well as Pauls.

COUPLE OF FUNNIES

Guest Blogger: Paul

Had a couple of funny moments recently that I thought I would share.

Tyson's Project

Tyson was given an assignment at school to build a boat to see how much weight it could hold. He was very clear with me that it could be up to two feet long and we had a lot of fun building it together.

The day came when his project was due, and he packed a bin full of bricks into his classroom and I carried his boat. As we walked into his classroom I noticed that the other kids had little boats like milk cartons, small boxes of cardboard. All the kids ood and ahhd over Tyson's boat. One kid came over and said "Dude! That is so over the top for this project". Tyson's boat was able to hold 15 bricks, the next closest was 4. Cracks me up every time I think about what the kid said.

God Calling?

I sat down the other night and noticed that my phone was connected to a colleague at works phone. I hung it up and didn't think anything about it. The next day I was on the phone with him and he mentioned that I left him the oddest message. I asked what it was that I was saying. He says "I think it was a prayer or something, and you were saying something about your wife not being home". So he got to participate in prayer time with the kids that night.

Hope you get a chuckle out of these, I have...

15

PARENTING TEENS

These are tips I got today.

Stop lecturing… And start listening

Stop worrying… And start praying

Stop frowning… And start laughing

Stop reacting… And start responding

Stop punishing… And start disciplining

Stop ruling… And start enforcing

Stop teaching… And start trusting

Stop talking… And start hearing