I have favorite holidays and Valentines ranks right down at the bottom of my list right by Halloween. I'm just not a fan of these holidays. (my favorites are Thanksgiving, Easter and Christmas~in no particular order other than Thanksgiving is always my favorite because I LOVE fall)
So when the kids started coming home asking for Valentine's cards I just about shut completely down. I was not too happy about having to buy all of those little cards, much like the fact I KNEW I would growl every time I picked up those cards from the table, floor, couch, beds, etc. starting Feb. 15. So every time I was asked "when you going to the store to get the Valentines?" I about freaked! I claimed that I would change my attitude and make the best of it. Then mom called and asked if I wanted to come to a dinner on the 14th and I felt freedom. Yep I was going to have dinner with the rents and my bro, now that is a date worth having. So I sucked it up, got the cards, kids wrote on them, got them packaged, made a fun easy dinner and dump cake and off I scurried. It was a nice night. I am so glad that I had that little break.
The kids are still battling their sickies. I just got home from picking up MaeLynne from school. I am not sure what the problem is today but she is just sickly! When I picked her up she was in the class with her brother. He was working on the computer and she was ready to go. Lil Taeo looks up and asks if he can come home too. I laughed, his body guard is off sick and so he has to fend for himself today. I wonder how that will go over. I'll see if I can squeeze an update in before bedtime tonight.
Paul is scheduled to be home Friday. I am THRILLED to get him back! I think we actually get him until the end of the month. I am thrilled at the thought of him being home for a week (yes even if it is just a week I am HAPPY). I am not a fan of the 2 week trips. I can handle the week ones but 2 weeks is a lil much for the two of us to be apart (go ahead and tell me what a baby I am, I can handle it!~ok maybe not, just play along with me and say ohh so sorry and under your breath you can mock me~privately please). Next month is going to be marathon month, I wonder how many days out of 31 he gets to be home (wait never mind, I just want to know when life will return to normal~that is right it won't ever be normal here again~sigh).
This morning I woke up to the ground all white and beautiful. It is SO nice to see snow! I think if it is going to be cold it might as well be snowy. I would prefer snow :) It is just refreshing to see everything covered up. I think spring is so much better after we have had a snowy winter. In Texas it seems like we go from spring to summer to fall back to spring (and fall is short). I really am thankful for 4 full seasons.
I started reading again. I love to read. I used to read a lot, and different books at the same time but for some reason I have gotten away from that. So after the kids are down for bed and no one in the house to talk to I have pulled out my books (ok I am actually reading on my phone in my bed) and I am enjoying Seven by Jen Hatmaker. I am really enjoying this read. It gives me something to focus on and it is actually really refreshing. I am only on month 2 but I have found that I have done similar things in my life to get focus back.
Well I am going to make sure my lil sickie is all tucked in and resting. I really am enjoying the day even though she is feeling yuck. It makes my heart happy to care for my kiddos even when they are sick. I love being a mom =)
February 15, 2012
February 08, 2012
BLOG THERAPY~BLOGERAPY
I need my blogerapy!
So at this moment I am sitting here as tears stream down my face. The week has caught up with me! Yes I know it is only Wednesday but wow what a ride.
Sunday was a wonderful day! Paul and I took the kids to church, enjoyed the agape lunch afterwards, went to friends for the game~it was absolutely the BEST way to start the week. Monday I cried as I left Paul at the airport for another stint in Rhode Island. I had gotten past the point of crying (so I had thought) with him leaving but for some reason it really hit me this time. The gal we fostered for a couple of months a year back had a really rough night and txtd me and her plea really hit me hard. I won't lie, I worried for her, for her safety for provision for her. I believe she is in wonderful hands and I know that her coming here is out of the question but evidently I wear my heart on my sleeve these days. This morning I woke up and found out Pastor Bill had died this morning. This is the pastor at my brother's church. The pastor who helped to pray our kids home and prayed with my brother's church family for safety and guidance for us as we have traveled the adoption/growing adjustment/stretching/ever changing road. I am thankful Bill is where he is, what a promotion! However, my heart is truly aching for his family and friends. I am so thankful I got to know Bill and for the time he invested in my nieces and nephews and for the friend he was to my brother. AMAZING man!
Things on the home front are a bit stressful. The kids are in need of something to pull them together. I think we either have cabin fever or just in need of a good road trip. I wish we all wanted to pull together at the same time. Life is weird like that.
MacKelti is 15, I cannot believe it. I am so blessed by her wonderful ways and her patience and love. She always has my back and takes on much more responsibility around here than she should. I am getting her to loosen up a bit! I asked her to dance on the table last night but it was a no go. Oh well I tried!
It started to snow today. I looked out at the snow and knew it was a gift! It was just as good as a rainbow for me today. It is now raining but I know how it started and that is perfect for me.
I have done some house cleaning today~feels good to get things back on track. I am hoping that the kids come home with good attitudes. They have been having some difficulties with being "the Haitians" and "chocolate" at school. It just pulls out the momma bear in me! I knew it was to be expected and we anticipated needing to educate others. I usually handle it pretty well, not as good as the kids I am afraid!
My kids are amazing. Report cards came home and every single one of them are doing their best! I was expecting some "encouragement" talks but overall they are all adjusting and doing great. They are making friends, venturing out a bit more, and keeping pretty grounded. We all struggle a bit with Paul in and out but we get into a pretty good groove either way. I guess that is one good thing about having a mom with a free spirit and flying by the seat of our pants. We adjust well!
This morning all the kids were just dragging their lil red wagons while getting ready for school. I can't believe 11 kids can get ready in 45 minutes all while dragging along. They are good like that. I think if I pushed hard enough we could all be ready in 30 minutes from bed to bus. I don't like mornings so I don't push too hard though. I am more of a turn on the lights and bump into the walls until the fog lifts kind of person. I am working on being better at that but there are mornings (like this morning) when I am just not pleasant. I suppose I need to apologize for my grumpies, it is good for the kids to know I am human.
Well my therapy time is over. I must go invest some energy into cleaning my bathroom and bedroom. Alas, duty calls!
I am thankful for job security, it keeps me focused!!
Looking forward to the next life change with anticipation and anxiety! I'm just going to ride the roller coaster and quit trying to drive it!
So at this moment I am sitting here as tears stream down my face. The week has caught up with me! Yes I know it is only Wednesday but wow what a ride.
Sunday was a wonderful day! Paul and I took the kids to church, enjoyed the agape lunch afterwards, went to friends for the game~it was absolutely the BEST way to start the week. Monday I cried as I left Paul at the airport for another stint in Rhode Island. I had gotten past the point of crying (so I had thought) with him leaving but for some reason it really hit me this time. The gal we fostered for a couple of months a year back had a really rough night and txtd me and her plea really hit me hard. I won't lie, I worried for her, for her safety for provision for her. I believe she is in wonderful hands and I know that her coming here is out of the question but evidently I wear my heart on my sleeve these days. This morning I woke up and found out Pastor Bill had died this morning. This is the pastor at my brother's church. The pastor who helped to pray our kids home and prayed with my brother's church family for safety and guidance for us as we have traveled the adoption/growing adjustment/stretching/ever changing road. I am thankful Bill is where he is, what a promotion! However, my heart is truly aching for his family and friends. I am so thankful I got to know Bill and for the time he invested in my nieces and nephews and for the friend he was to my brother. AMAZING man!
Things on the home front are a bit stressful. The kids are in need of something to pull them together. I think we either have cabin fever or just in need of a good road trip. I wish we all wanted to pull together at the same time. Life is weird like that.
MacKelti is 15, I cannot believe it. I am so blessed by her wonderful ways and her patience and love. She always has my back and takes on much more responsibility around here than she should. I am getting her to loosen up a bit! I asked her to dance on the table last night but it was a no go. Oh well I tried!
It started to snow today. I looked out at the snow and knew it was a gift! It was just as good as a rainbow for me today. It is now raining but I know how it started and that is perfect for me.
I have done some house cleaning today~feels good to get things back on track. I am hoping that the kids come home with good attitudes. They have been having some difficulties with being "the Haitians" and "chocolate" at school. It just pulls out the momma bear in me! I knew it was to be expected and we anticipated needing to educate others. I usually handle it pretty well, not as good as the kids I am afraid!
My kids are amazing. Report cards came home and every single one of them are doing their best! I was expecting some "encouragement" talks but overall they are all adjusting and doing great. They are making friends, venturing out a bit more, and keeping pretty grounded. We all struggle a bit with Paul in and out but we get into a pretty good groove either way. I guess that is one good thing about having a mom with a free spirit and flying by the seat of our pants. We adjust well!
This morning all the kids were just dragging their lil red wagons while getting ready for school. I can't believe 11 kids can get ready in 45 minutes all while dragging along. They are good like that. I think if I pushed hard enough we could all be ready in 30 minutes from bed to bus. I don't like mornings so I don't push too hard though. I am more of a turn on the lights and bump into the walls until the fog lifts kind of person. I am working on being better at that but there are mornings (like this morning) when I am just not pleasant. I suppose I need to apologize for my grumpies, it is good for the kids to know I am human.
Well my therapy time is over. I must go invest some energy into cleaning my bathroom and bedroom. Alas, duty calls!
I am thankful for job security, it keeps me focused!!
Looking forward to the next life change with anticipation and anxiety! I'm just going to ride the roller coaster and quit trying to drive it!
February 06, 2012
HAITI LINKS
Where our children lived
http://www.newlifelink.org
Benefits the community around the creche
http://www.newlifelink.org/new_life_foundation.htm
Child sponsorship
http://hfchaiti.org/
Great people being the hands and feet of Christ~~pray for their health
http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/
http://heartlineministries.org/
Another great family working for Christ
http://www.realhopeforhaiti.org/
Full circle with medika mamba
http://mfkhaiti.org/
January 26, 2012
A FEW OF THE BEST TIMES
why live in a $200,000 house when you can live under a
$2million dollar bridge! I feel at home without a home.
Paul and I at Stars homecoming~an amazing night
watching the kids play over spring break! good times
I wish I were always an optimist
there is always room for improvement
this hangs on my wall as a constant reminder!
found the Margarita Man, who knew he was in Texas
Round Rock Express as a family~love times like this
a long long time ago but a favorite
Papa and the grandkids
Myriam and Meirene after prayer night
ya, I was just excited to be so close to a gun
clouds always make me stop and remember
one of my favorite places~this was years past
and the "oh my goodness" face
never a dull moment here
HE ALWAYS SHOWS UP
Today didn't start off real well. I had a situation I had prayed could be rectified and knowing in my heart how much I wanted things "fixed" but it didn't start that way. I had that news as I was getting kids ready and out the door to school. Needless to say, when I came home I was a bit down. Then I received a call from my lil friend from Haiti who is back in the US. She was in desperate need of help and I was so helpless, I could do NOTHING. I pleaded with God to help her, to help me find her, to give her hope and encouragement. Finally I found a friend to come up side of me and all day we prayed to find her. It was an emotional day.
Then I went and hung out with a friend who gave me hope and introduced me to other friends and it actually made my heart turn and be thankful. I had that "hope" back (the one from my talk). I busied myself with work related projects and came home to happy, healthy kids ready to get homework done and spend time together.
We fixed dinner together and Mac even made us some bread. I love it when she experiments. We got dinner on the table, had prayer time and as the kids were digging in I got to talk to my hubby. I can't believe it has been almost two weeks since he has been gone and now we have the count down to when he will be home. Dinner finished up, kids got ready for bed, and I get the call Ty is done with wrestling and so as the kids settled down for their night show (Cheaper by the Dozen 2) I fetched Ty (who pinned his opponent) and we came home and enjoyed a bit more family time.
While picking up Ty I got a text saying that my friend from Haiti had been found and things were being taken care of. Oh I was so pleased, I am still praising God for that wonderful gift. It was the best way to end the night! I had all my kiddos home and knew where my friend was, had a friend who lifted me up today, I am very thankful!
I think if we all make a list of those things for which we are thankful for, all the blessings we are given then perhaps when we have mornings such as I had perhaps we can just look over the list and remember how good God is! Sometimes he withholds the encouragement we need in order for us to trust and believe His word.
He is working in my life in a mighty way. I cannot say all is fun and enjoyable and that my life is full of rainbows and roses but I can say I am thankful for what I have and I will pray for God to work those tiny miracles to fix all of the faults I have caused.
I recently purchased a desk for my husband (a nice surprise for his return home) and so I moved his desk up to my area. I have a nice office corner in the room now and I have put in front of me people who have inspired me. I have plenty of wall space left but as I look up I see my neighbor Bob holding my nephew Brycen, and I glance over and look at Papi who assisted us in making our family what it is, I see Abby to whom I run to with all of my owies and hurts and who will just stop and pray for me right there on the spot without question, I see a picture my friend Miss Liz gave to me (I put a picture of her grave marker on it, a constant reminder of what a best friend is), then there is the picture of Paul leaning up to kiss me. I also have words of encouragement I have surrounded myself with. Things I can glance at that make a difference in my life. There is a picture of Jesus that my friend Ann gave me and a picture of an angel watching over children. Above it all says Live, Laugh, Love.
Sometimes we just need reminders. They don't always come from people whom we know and love, they often come from strangers. May we all be a blessing to others and as we come and go, instead of saying "have a nice day" may we say "be blessed".
God is gracious!
Then I went and hung out with a friend who gave me hope and introduced me to other friends and it actually made my heart turn and be thankful. I had that "hope" back (the one from my talk). I busied myself with work related projects and came home to happy, healthy kids ready to get homework done and spend time together.
We fixed dinner together and Mac even made us some bread. I love it when she experiments. We got dinner on the table, had prayer time and as the kids were digging in I got to talk to my hubby. I can't believe it has been almost two weeks since he has been gone and now we have the count down to when he will be home. Dinner finished up, kids got ready for bed, and I get the call Ty is done with wrestling and so as the kids settled down for their night show (Cheaper by the Dozen 2) I fetched Ty (who pinned his opponent) and we came home and enjoyed a bit more family time.
While picking up Ty I got a text saying that my friend from Haiti had been found and things were being taken care of. Oh I was so pleased, I am still praising God for that wonderful gift. It was the best way to end the night! I had all my kiddos home and knew where my friend was, had a friend who lifted me up today, I am very thankful!
I think if we all make a list of those things for which we are thankful for, all the blessings we are given then perhaps when we have mornings such as I had perhaps we can just look over the list and remember how good God is! Sometimes he withholds the encouragement we need in order for us to trust and believe His word.
He is working in my life in a mighty way. I cannot say all is fun and enjoyable and that my life is full of rainbows and roses but I can say I am thankful for what I have and I will pray for God to work those tiny miracles to fix all of the faults I have caused.
I recently purchased a desk for my husband (a nice surprise for his return home) and so I moved his desk up to my area. I have a nice office corner in the room now and I have put in front of me people who have inspired me. I have plenty of wall space left but as I look up I see my neighbor Bob holding my nephew Brycen, and I glance over and look at Papi who assisted us in making our family what it is, I see Abby to whom I run to with all of my owies and hurts and who will just stop and pray for me right there on the spot without question, I see a picture my friend Miss Liz gave to me (I put a picture of her grave marker on it, a constant reminder of what a best friend is), then there is the picture of Paul leaning up to kiss me. I also have words of encouragement I have surrounded myself with. Things I can glance at that make a difference in my life. There is a picture of Jesus that my friend Ann gave me and a picture of an angel watching over children. Above it all says Live, Laugh, Love.
Sometimes we just need reminders. They don't always come from people whom we know and love, they often come from strangers. May we all be a blessing to others and as we come and go, instead of saying "have a nice day" may we say "be blessed".
God is gracious!
January 25, 2012
NOTES FROM AGAPE LUNCHEON
These are the notes I used to speak at the Agape Luncheon. God used it in different ways and it has been cut and pasted so many times I hope some of it makes sense.
"Today I still long so much for honour, I am so pleased with myself, so rooted in my nature. I am pleased when others often ask for my opinion, when I am made to feel I am needed, when people know that I am clever, talented and popular. I am glad when I am friends with everyone, when I ca share with others what is in my heart, when I can shine.
BUT Lord Jesus, you were a servant of all. Today I surrender all desire to be great; I renounce all pleasure I take in being important. Help me never to take pleasure in the things that do not please you."
Thank you all for inviting me to come today. When I heard yall wanted to hear me speak I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why you would want to hear about me. I feel my life is normal and boring but evidently there are those of you whom God has spoke to and said, “This lil gal has something to share” so here I am.
Well as you now know my name is Ange Schneider, I grew up here in Gooding with the best parents I could have (I am a touch biased). I think I learned the art of serving people from my folks and I like to think that it is just one of those gifts that God hands out to certain people.
After graduating mortuary college I married my husband, Paul ~I can’t believe that was almost 17 years ago. We started our family right away and after 2 years we had two very busy children. But that of course is not the end of the story. After our daughter was born I started my walk with the Lord. It wasn’t an overnight venture and I am still a work in progress. So then our adoption journey started, 9 ½ years ago we adopted our first child, our last 2 children that were adopted came on the last refugee plane out of Haiti after the devastating earthquake. Paul and I laugh because we spent the last 8 years in Texas and left Idaho with 3 kids and came home with 11. Perhaps they are right when they say everything is bigger and better in Texas. (I’ll just say I prefer Idaho!)
I’ll give you a list of our kids~ be sure to pay attention there will be a test on this when I am finished.
Meirene is 18
Tyson is 16
MacKelti is 14
Tychicus is 14
Tony is 14
Mia is 12
MeilaRose is 10
Mylee is 10
Trae is 10
Taeo is 9
and lastly MaeLynne is 9
please don’t ask why we picked M and T names, the only thing Paul and I could think of was that it is our Trade Mark (T M)
Let me share part of our Christmas Day with you. We don’t do the normal wake up at the crack of ridicuous and tear open gifts. We rise and when everyone is up we start the day with Birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. After that we went around and everyone got to share what they are thankful for. We have so many different answers but so many were thankful for a family that loves them and takes care of them and also they are thankful for their families in Haiti. My husband and I joined in and of course we are so thankful for each of the kids and how God has healed them in so many ways. Then my mom shared. She said she was thankful of how we live in America where we are free and how she is so thankful for each one of her grandkids. Papa was next. He shared his thankfulness for a wife of 50 years and looked around the room and told of how he loved the legacy they have built and how he hopes it continues for hundreds of years to come. Its about family in our home.
Our Motto is CHAOS which stands for Christ Has All Our Solutions and Choosing Him As Our Savior. Faith, family, friends
These are figures I just looked up on the internet, I am sure there are more accurate ones out there:
I’l love to give you some information on Haiti
less half of Haiti’s population is literate, their thumbprint is generally the only thing that they can put down on forms
54% have access to an improved water source (not clean but improved)
more than 65% are malnurished
Haiti was slave free before the United States and therefore the US refused to acknowledge Haiti for 60 years
Haiti owes 1.3 billion in debt due to the Duvaillers, dictators back by the US
The major religion in Haiti is Catholic, but most (even Christians) have voodoo practices ~much like supersititions that inflitrate their beliefs
So why do I tell you this about Haiti? Because that is my second home. Our 9 children were adopted from Haiti, all from the same orphanage. They each have a powerful story to share. Some of my kids were so malnurised that the carried food around in the palm of their hands for hours just so they knew food would be there; some of the kids hoarded food in cupboards, every cupboard had a pile of trailmix just so they knew it would be there. All of my children were and are loved by their Haitian families. We send down picture books 2 times a year and write letters (that are translated by the orphanage director) so all know they are alive and well.
Which leads me to the topic of Faith Hope and Love.
Well after being to Haiti almost 10 times now I have learned so many things and have come to really rely on God for answers to things that I will never understand.
You see I have seen people live without faith. Sure they live, but life here on this planet is just a blink of the eye but as for living here in America (and I’m sure elsewhere) there are plenty that have no faith. Some of those are even the people you sit next to on Sunday. A life lived, a life lost!
I have seen plenty of orphans live without Love. If they have never been loved they don’t understand how to receieve it, how to give it, and they wonder how could God possibly love them after all the hardships they have endured in their lives.
But HOPE that is where I stand is on HOPE
Hope whispers “Try it one more time.”
There is noting so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing ~ but we all do and call it Hope ~ Edgar Howe
After being in Haiti and seeing first hand the voodoo that happens there, and bringing pieces of that back to our home I see that Americans call it hope when they should call it want. We want a new car, bigger house, to outdo the Jones’, but we don’t really “hope”
Ps. 78:7 "That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments"
I have seen more hope in the eyes of the poverty stricken people in Haiti than I have seen in but a handful of people I know. Perhaps it is because all they ever get they give thanks to God for, for the food, for the ability to work, for the ability to rise and praise Him each morning.
You’ve gotta have hope. Without hope life is meaningless. Without hope life is meaning less and less.
And yes as ~Eric Bentley said “If one truly has lost hope, one would not be on hand to say so.”
and Norman Cousins says “Hope is independent of the apparatus of logic.” as my husband describes me Logic need not apply.
Charles L. Allen says “When you say a situation or a person is hopeless, you’re slamming the door in the face of God.”
“Look closely into the apocalypse of Haiti,” Diaz wrote in 2011 essay in the Boston Review, “and you will see that Haiti’s problem is not that it is poor and vulnerable~Haiti’s problem is that it is poor and vulnerable at a time in our capitalist experiment wen the gap between those who got grub and those who don’t is not only vast but aslo rapidly increasing. Said another way, Haiti’s nightmarish vulnerability has to be understood as part of a larger trend in global inequality.”
People cannot live without hope. Throughout history, human beings have endured the loss of many things. People have lost their health, their finances, their reputations, their careers, even their loved ones, and yet have endured. The pages of history books are filled with those who suffered pain, rejection, isolation, persecution and abuse; there have been people who faced concentration camps with unbroken spirits and unbowed heads, people who have been devastated by Job-like trials and yet found the strength to go on without cursing God and dying. Humans can survive the loss of almost anything – but not without hope.
Hope is how we live. Hope is what gets us from one day to the next. A person goes to school and hopes that one day he will graduate. That person graduates and hopes that one day he will enter into a great career. If he is single, he hopes that perhaps one day he will meet the right person and get married. He gets married and hopes that one day he and his wife will have children. When they have children, they hope that they will live long enough to get the kids out of the house.
We live by hope, and when hope is gone, endurance and joy and energy and courage just evaporate. Life itself begins to fade. When hope goes, we start to die. One of the most profound proverbs of the Bible says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12).
It could be argued that everyone has hope and that the problem with most people is simply that their hopes have been misplaced. Many people begin looking around from the time they are young and wondering what is going to pay off. Perhaps they will invest in athletics or academics. Perhaps they will invest all their hope in beauty and fashion. As we get a little older (but not always wiser) we put our hopes in wealth and status, achievement and prestige.
When we place our hope in the wrong things, one of two things is likely to happen. Either we will never make it to the level we had hoped for, in which case we end up envious or bitter. Or we make it to that level only to discover that it doesn’t fill our heart. In that case, we end up unfulfilled and disappointed.
With all this is mind, it is easy to see that few functions a leader is called upon to perform are more important than that of keeping hope alive. When others are lost in the dark, and seemingly endless, maze of despair, effective leaders drive away the darkness with positive projections for the future of their organization. They know when to come alongside of someone. They sense when a team member needs a quick admonition or a shoulder on which to cry.
As Martin Luther King Jr, said “We must learn to live together as brothers or we will perish together as fools.
Living Without Hope
Man can live about forty days without food,
About three days without water,
About eight minutes without air,
But only one second without hope.
There is a wonderful book by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. Ron is a rich fancy art salesman and Denver a modern day slave, even after slavery was outlawed here in the states. They have some profound words I’d like to share
Denver Moore said this “The truth about it is, whether we is rich or poor or something in between, this earth ain’t no final restin place. So in a way, we is all homeless~just working our way toward home”
and then this “If the devil ain’t messin with you, he’s already got you. If you is waitin to clean up your own life before you get out and help somebody else, you may as well take off your shoes and crawl back in the bed ‘cause it ain’t never gon’ happen. Jesus don’t need no help from no perfect saints. If He did, He wouldn’t a’gone up yonder and left us down here in charge.”
and then this
“Everybody’s lookin for God everywhere on the outside. He ain’t in no book, and He ain’t in no preacher, and He ain’t in nothing or no one on the outside. You got to go inside ‘cause that’s where God is~in the deepest place inside you. And ain’t nobody gon’ make God tell you noting. Ain’t nobody gon’ have no wisdom ‘bout nothin if they thinks they can read ‘bout it or hear about it from some man or woman. That got to come from revelation. That got to come from the Holy Spirit inside us, and that ain’t something that can be bargained for. You can’t achieve revalation. You can’t work for what’s free”
In another book I found a statement that floored me and I am sure some of you can relate. The book is Radical by David Platt and he says this
I was invited to speak at a church on a Sunday, and was asked to join the pastor, deacons and their wives for dinner the evening prior. When David told of his concern for the unreached peoples of the world, one of the deacons leaned forward in his chair and responded “David, I think it’s great you are going to those places. But if you ask me, I would just as soon God annihilate all those people and send them to hell” the silence in the room indicated that was also the general consensus of all in the room.
Believers in the East are willing to risk life and limb to hear the teachings of God’s word for hours and hours, while believers in the West neglect to evencarry their bibles to church, let alone study it even once a week!
We do not have time to waste our livings living out a Christian spin on the American Dream.
The most glorious reason you exist is for the proclamation of the glory of God to the ends of the world. And it’s more than having a nice life.
New Living Translation (©2007) Romans 12:2
Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
we should all make our motto this
GIVE LIBERALLY, GO URGENTLY, LIVE DANGEROUSLY:
Better to love God and die unknown than to love the world and be a hero; better to be content with poverty than to die a slave to wealth; better to have taken some risks and lost than to have done nothing and succeeded at it. -erwin lutzer
And finally
Matthew 10:1 Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to cast out evil spirits and to heal every kind of disease and illness.
Jesus called his 12 disciples. He didn’t draft them, force them, or ask them to volunteer; he chose them to serve him in a special way.
Christ calls us today. He doesn’t twist our arms and make us do something we don’t want to do. We can choose to join him or remain behind.
When Christ calls you to follow him, how will you respond?
“Vivit! Vivit!” (He lives! He lives!)
Bondye bon anpil~ God is very good.
and for those who want to know how I do it
Nehemiah 8:10
10 He continued, "Go home and prepare a feast, holiday food and drink; and share it with those who don't have anything: This day is holy to God. Don't feel bad. The joy of God is your strength!"
BUT Lord Jesus, you were a servant of all. Today I surrender all desire to be great; I renounce all pleasure I take in being important. Help me never to take pleasure in the things that do not please you."
Thank you all for inviting me to come today. When I heard yall wanted to hear me speak I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why you would want to hear about me. I feel my life is normal and boring but evidently there are those of you whom God has spoke to and said, “This lil gal has something to share” so here I am.
Well as you now know my name is Ange Schneider, I grew up here in Gooding with the best parents I could have (I am a touch biased). I think I learned the art of serving people from my folks and I like to think that it is just one of those gifts that God hands out to certain people.
After graduating mortuary college I married my husband, Paul ~I can’t believe that was almost 17 years ago. We started our family right away and after 2 years we had two very busy children. But that of course is not the end of the story. After our daughter was born I started my walk with the Lord. It wasn’t an overnight venture and I am still a work in progress. So then our adoption journey started, 9 ½ years ago we adopted our first child, our last 2 children that were adopted came on the last refugee plane out of Haiti after the devastating earthquake. Paul and I laugh because we spent the last 8 years in Texas and left Idaho with 3 kids and came home with 11. Perhaps they are right when they say everything is bigger and better in Texas. (I’ll just say I prefer Idaho!)
I’ll give you a list of our kids~ be sure to pay attention there will be a test on this when I am finished.
Meirene is 18
Tyson is 16
MacKelti is 14
Tychicus is 14
Tony is 14
Mia is 12
MeilaRose is 10
Mylee is 10
Trae is 10
Taeo is 9
and lastly MaeLynne is 9
please don’t ask why we picked M and T names, the only thing Paul and I could think of was that it is our Trade Mark (T M)
Let me share part of our Christmas Day with you. We don’t do the normal wake up at the crack of ridicuous and tear open gifts. We rise and when everyone is up we start the day with Birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. After that we went around and everyone got to share what they are thankful for. We have so many different answers but so many were thankful for a family that loves them and takes care of them and also they are thankful for their families in Haiti. My husband and I joined in and of course we are so thankful for each of the kids and how God has healed them in so many ways. Then my mom shared. She said she was thankful of how we live in America where we are free and how she is so thankful for each one of her grandkids. Papa was next. He shared his thankfulness for a wife of 50 years and looked around the room and told of how he loved the legacy they have built and how he hopes it continues for hundreds of years to come. Its about family in our home.
Our Motto is CHAOS which stands for Christ Has All Our Solutions and Choosing Him As Our Savior. Faith, family, friends
These are figures I just looked up on the internet, I am sure there are more accurate ones out there:
I’l love to give you some information on Haiti
less half of Haiti’s population is literate, their thumbprint is generally the only thing that they can put down on forms
54% have access to an improved water source (not clean but improved)
more than 65% are malnurished
Haiti was slave free before the United States and therefore the US refused to acknowledge Haiti for 60 years
Haiti owes 1.3 billion in debt due to the Duvaillers, dictators back by the US
The major religion in Haiti is Catholic, but most (even Christians) have voodoo practices ~much like supersititions that inflitrate their beliefs
So why do I tell you this about Haiti? Because that is my second home. Our 9 children were adopted from Haiti, all from the same orphanage. They each have a powerful story to share. Some of my kids were so malnurised that the carried food around in the palm of their hands for hours just so they knew food would be there; some of the kids hoarded food in cupboards, every cupboard had a pile of trailmix just so they knew it would be there. All of my children were and are loved by their Haitian families. We send down picture books 2 times a year and write letters (that are translated by the orphanage director) so all know they are alive and well.
Which leads me to the topic of Faith Hope and Love.
| 1Cr 13:13 | Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. |
Well after being to Haiti almost 10 times now I have learned so many things and have come to really rely on God for answers to things that I will never understand.
You see I have seen people live without faith. Sure they live, but life here on this planet is just a blink of the eye but as for living here in America (and I’m sure elsewhere) there are plenty that have no faith. Some of those are even the people you sit next to on Sunday. A life lived, a life lost!
I have seen plenty of orphans live without Love. If they have never been loved they don’t understand how to receieve it, how to give it, and they wonder how could God possibly love them after all the hardships they have endured in their lives.
But HOPE that is where I stand is on HOPE
Hope whispers “Try it one more time.”
There is noting so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing ~ but we all do and call it Hope ~ Edgar Howe
After being in Haiti and seeing first hand the voodoo that happens there, and bringing pieces of that back to our home I see that Americans call it hope when they should call it want. We want a new car, bigger house, to outdo the Jones’, but we don’t really “hope”
Ps. 78:7 "That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments"
I have seen more hope in the eyes of the poverty stricken people in Haiti than I have seen in but a handful of people I know. Perhaps it is because all they ever get they give thanks to God for, for the food, for the ability to work, for the ability to rise and praise Him each morning.
You’ve gotta have hope. Without hope life is meaningless. Without hope life is meaning less and less.
And yes as ~Eric Bentley said “If one truly has lost hope, one would not be on hand to say so.”
and Norman Cousins says “Hope is independent of the apparatus of logic.” as my husband describes me Logic need not apply.
Charles L. Allen says “When you say a situation or a person is hopeless, you’re slamming the door in the face of God.”
“Look closely into the apocalypse of Haiti,” Diaz wrote in 2011 essay in the Boston Review, “and you will see that Haiti’s problem is not that it is poor and vulnerable~Haiti’s problem is that it is poor and vulnerable at a time in our capitalist experiment wen the gap between those who got grub and those who don’t is not only vast but aslo rapidly increasing. Said another way, Haiti’s nightmarish vulnerability has to be understood as part of a larger trend in global inequality.”
People cannot live without hope. Throughout history, human beings have endured the loss of many things. People have lost their health, their finances, their reputations, their careers, even their loved ones, and yet have endured. The pages of history books are filled with those who suffered pain, rejection, isolation, persecution and abuse; there have been people who faced concentration camps with unbroken spirits and unbowed heads, people who have been devastated by Job-like trials and yet found the strength to go on without cursing God and dying. Humans can survive the loss of almost anything – but not without hope.
Hope is how we live. Hope is what gets us from one day to the next. A person goes to school and hopes that one day he will graduate. That person graduates and hopes that one day he will enter into a great career. If he is single, he hopes that perhaps one day he will meet the right person and get married. He gets married and hopes that one day he and his wife will have children. When they have children, they hope that they will live long enough to get the kids out of the house.
We live by hope, and when hope is gone, endurance and joy and energy and courage just evaporate. Life itself begins to fade. When hope goes, we start to die. One of the most profound proverbs of the Bible says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12).
It could be argued that everyone has hope and that the problem with most people is simply that their hopes have been misplaced. Many people begin looking around from the time they are young and wondering what is going to pay off. Perhaps they will invest in athletics or academics. Perhaps they will invest all their hope in beauty and fashion. As we get a little older (but not always wiser) we put our hopes in wealth and status, achievement and prestige.
When we place our hope in the wrong things, one of two things is likely to happen. Either we will never make it to the level we had hoped for, in which case we end up envious or bitter. Or we make it to that level only to discover that it doesn’t fill our heart. In that case, we end up unfulfilled and disappointed.
With all this is mind, it is easy to see that few functions a leader is called upon to perform are more important than that of keeping hope alive. When others are lost in the dark, and seemingly endless, maze of despair, effective leaders drive away the darkness with positive projections for the future of their organization. They know when to come alongside of someone. They sense when a team member needs a quick admonition or a shoulder on which to cry.
As Martin Luther King Jr, said “We must learn to live together as brothers or we will perish together as fools.
Living Without Hope
Man can live about forty days without food,
About three days without water,
About eight minutes without air,
But only one second without hope.
There is a wonderful book by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. Ron is a rich fancy art salesman and Denver a modern day slave, even after slavery was outlawed here in the states. They have some profound words I’d like to share
Denver Moore said this “The truth about it is, whether we is rich or poor or something in between, this earth ain’t no final restin place. So in a way, we is all homeless~just working our way toward home”
and then this “If the devil ain’t messin with you, he’s already got you. If you is waitin to clean up your own life before you get out and help somebody else, you may as well take off your shoes and crawl back in the bed ‘cause it ain’t never gon’ happen. Jesus don’t need no help from no perfect saints. If He did, He wouldn’t a’gone up yonder and left us down here in charge.”
and then this
“Everybody’s lookin for God everywhere on the outside. He ain’t in no book, and He ain’t in no preacher, and He ain’t in nothing or no one on the outside. You got to go inside ‘cause that’s where God is~in the deepest place inside you. And ain’t nobody gon’ make God tell you noting. Ain’t nobody gon’ have no wisdom ‘bout nothin if they thinks they can read ‘bout it or hear about it from some man or woman. That got to come from revelation. That got to come from the Holy Spirit inside us, and that ain’t something that can be bargained for. You can’t achieve revalation. You can’t work for what’s free”
In another book I found a statement that floored me and I am sure some of you can relate. The book is Radical by David Platt and he says this
I was invited to speak at a church on a Sunday, and was asked to join the pastor, deacons and their wives for dinner the evening prior. When David told of his concern for the unreached peoples of the world, one of the deacons leaned forward in his chair and responded “David, I think it’s great you are going to those places. But if you ask me, I would just as soon God annihilate all those people and send them to hell” the silence in the room indicated that was also the general consensus of all in the room.
Believers in the East are willing to risk life and limb to hear the teachings of God’s word for hours and hours, while believers in the West neglect to evencarry their bibles to church, let alone study it even once a week!
We do not have time to waste our livings living out a Christian spin on the American Dream.
The most glorious reason you exist is for the proclamation of the glory of God to the ends of the world. And it’s more than having a nice life.
New Living Translation (©2007) Romans 12:2
Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
we should all make our motto this
GIVE LIBERALLY, GO URGENTLY, LIVE DANGEROUSLY:
Better to love God and die unknown than to love the world and be a hero; better to be content with poverty than to die a slave to wealth; better to have taken some risks and lost than to have done nothing and succeeded at it. -erwin lutzer
And finally
Matthew 10:1 Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to cast out evil spirits and to heal every kind of disease and illness.
Jesus called his 12 disciples. He didn’t draft them, force them, or ask them to volunteer; he chose them to serve him in a special way.
Christ calls us today. He doesn’t twist our arms and make us do something we don’t want to do. We can choose to join him or remain behind.
When Christ calls you to follow him, how will you respond?
“Vivit! Vivit!” (He lives! He lives!)
Bondye bon anpil~ God is very good.
and for those who want to know how I do it
Nehemiah 8:10
10 He continued, "Go home and prepare a feast, holiday food and drink; and share it with those who don't have anything: This day is holy to God. Don't feel bad. The joy of God is your strength!"
FAST AND FASTER
Where does time go? I am sitting here anxiously waiting for the kids to get home from school and thinking what did I do with my day, knowing I did a whole lot!
Today Paul's desk was assembled and is ready for his booty to come plop down in it. I think he will like it. I need to get some new lights, I think that will be a tomorrow morning project before heading to Jtown to make up a business plan. Yes I did say business plan. I am not sure how this all came together but it has come together quickly and I am hoping to have more information on it soon.
I have been busy working on immigration paperwork for the kids. This refugee status deal is a pain in the... well I am just going to focus on the fact I am thankful they are here!
I spent the last 2 weeks getting ready for a speech I gave at the agape luncheon in Gooding. I will see if I can post my notes from it here. It was one the Lord took by the hand and I pray that there were open hearts to hear his message.
I am now working on updating all pictures in the house. Putting updated family pictures together and getting Paul's office ready for him. It has sure been fun getting ready for him.
I really cannot wait for him to be back.
Well, I need to get something in mind for dinner.
Blessings
Today Paul's desk was assembled and is ready for his booty to come plop down in it. I think he will like it. I need to get some new lights, I think that will be a tomorrow morning project before heading to Jtown to make up a business plan. Yes I did say business plan. I am not sure how this all came together but it has come together quickly and I am hoping to have more information on it soon.
I have been busy working on immigration paperwork for the kids. This refugee status deal is a pain in the... well I am just going to focus on the fact I am thankful they are here!
I spent the last 2 weeks getting ready for a speech I gave at the agape luncheon in Gooding. I will see if I can post my notes from it here. It was one the Lord took by the hand and I pray that there were open hearts to hear his message.
I am now working on updating all pictures in the house. Putting updated family pictures together and getting Paul's office ready for him. It has sure been fun getting ready for him.
I really cannot wait for him to be back.
Well, I need to get something in mind for dinner.
Blessings
CHRISTMAS PHOTOS
Ready to open
And they waited so patiently!
Mia and mommy being GOOBERS
Bubble blowing contest
GUESS WHO WON?
GUESS WHO WON?
Santa brings all sorts of silly things
Christmas morning getting ready to share what we are thankful for
Mac got these socks from Tony~a huge heart gift
Taeo and K'nex~we didn't see him for hours after this
Digz just being cute
Mia beating grandma at cards
craft time with Mac N Weinnie
how much food do we need?
K'Nex
Haitian sledding team
this one is just cute
proud daddy
one~two~push
and away they go again
too cute not to post
YA...... he just has to be him
Bessie couldn't make it any further up the hill
believe me I tried until I was told no more
believe me I tried until I was told no more
future snowboarder
awe love them smiles
Digz
Taeo
Down they head
lake view on the way home
awe just like heaven
sonshining down on us
and off to home
December 28, 2011
CHRISTMAS VACATION KID VIEW
This is an overview of our Christmas get away as seen through the eyes of our kiddos:
MEIRENE~I got to spend time with grandma and grandpa. I got to know them better. Even though I was scared of the snow I went out and played in the snow, in my swim suit. I had a great time going sledding with my cousins and going swimming with them. I like that grandma spent time getting things ready for us, I appreciate that. I like this Christmas because even though we didn't have fancy gifts and lots of things we had the best Christmas ever. I love how grandma knows what to get everyone, how she matches personalities. Even though we slept and lived in a small space we all got along. I think this Christmas was about Jesus and family together and learning more about family and getting to know each other better.
TYSON~
I was so glad to see snow and have a white Christmas. I was glad to be at one of my most favorite places in the world. I was happy to be with my family and loved spending time with grandma and grandpa. I was happy I got a pair of new pajamas. I am happy to have a phone so I can keep in contact with my friends in Texas. I am happy I got to go sledding even though I hurt my bumm. I am happy my cousins came up and we got to go to the hot pool with them. I am happy I got to go home with my cousins and spend time with them. I am happy I got to watch a movie with my uncles family. Got to watch three great movies, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, Christmas Story, and Super 8. I got to spend a day with my cousins, and I got to see my cousins new place. I got to be home and crank up the music I like. I freaked spending time in the house alone even though I had the music cranked. All around it was a fun time spent with my family doing amazing things and eating LOTS of good food.
MacKelti~
I'll start with Christmas. Christmas in the past has always been family and man learning experiences. This year we went up to the cabin for Christmas, I hadn't been to the cabin for Christmas in 7 years. I had forgotten all the fun that being apart from the world was like.
On our way to the cabin I started to feel sick, partly from the drive and the pressure, and partly from being excited. When we got to the cabin we had a hard time parking bessie. We parked best we could for the moment and unpacked. The cabin was decorated and glowing, showing me how much time, care, and effort grandma had put into it. I unpacked and saw mom and grandpa(double trouble) trying to park bessie up higher. I ran down to help and had a blast jumping in the back of the bus. I saw how much grandpa and mom are alike, with their can-do attitudes and their determination. They got bessie in a position they were ok with and went inside, we then all gathered around and ate hot dogs. That night we just relaxed, got ourselves situated in and watched National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.
The next day we got up and I helped grandma and mom fix breakfast. It was delicious, we had pancakes, hash browns, eggs, and bacon. The bacon though was not very nice it kept popping and burning me. Later I went sledding with Tychicus, Mia, Mylee and Trae. I also played go fish and made a necklace for mom. After a relaxing afternoon, we had tacos and other junk foods for dinner. After dinner we settled down and opened our Christmas presents from grandma and grandpa. We all got pajamas, I love mine very much and wouldn't trade them for any other present in the world. We then watched a Christmas story, but afterward we headed to bed.
We woke up and found pringles, coca-cola's and life savers on the coffee table. We waited till everyone was awake before we opened presents. Mom passed presents out to everyone and we opened them all at once. It was amazing to see every one's joy. I then passed out my presents for others and was so happy to see that everyone enjoyed them(they weren't anything fancy, just simple) I then opened my present from MaeLynne and Tony. The gifts were gifts that were thought about, not just thrown together for anyone. I then got a small present from mom, it was a set of earrings. I was so surprised and so glad for what they represent(my special earrings that got lost). We played for awhile then I helped make the food. We all ate way to much and were lucky that we could still stand. That night we just snacked and watched Shrek.
The next day we had surprise guests, our cousins. I then spent the day outside sledding with them. It was fun until they had to leave. After they were gone for an hour they came back and Emilee was going to stay the night. I then played speed with her and then played go fish with grandpa. He was fun to play with and I had a great time with him. That night we ate leftovers and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
The next day we packed up and were ready to leave, but Bessie wouldn't start. While the adults were trying to fix it, we had a snow(ice)ball fight. It was fun and on our way to the bus I slipped and fell on the ice. It was funny yet painful. This Christmas Vacation was a blast and will be remembered forever and for always.
TYCHICUS~
It was awesome seeing snow. I liked hanging out with Grandma and spend time playing with my siblings. I liked the part when Bessie wouldn't start and when she got stuck going up the hill. Tyson and I went over to the boyscout camp and walked all the way across. It was just fun. The best part of it was the whole thing, it was ALL good.
TONY~
We were altogether as a family. I enjoyed how we start our Christmas morning. I enjoyed sledding. Playing games, unplugged, was fun. I enjoyed Grandma and Papa being there, they are fun. Going to the cabin for Christmas was a fun trip. Having our cousins come up was one of the best gifts. The food was amazing. I also enjoyed watching mom trying to get Bessie up the hill and getting stuck, so funny.
MIA~
I liked sledding. I enjoyed spending time with grandma and family. I enjoyed playing with siblings and my cousins. I enjoyed the food. I enjoyed Christmas, celebrating Jesus' birth. I liked sledding in my swim suit and it was very cold but so fun. I love the boots I got for Christmas. I didn't like the fact I had to wait for Christmas.
MEILAROSE~
I enjoyed sledding especially when we went out in just our swim suits. The food was good too. I liked opening presents on Christmas eve and morning. I liked our cousins coming to visit and going swimming with them.
MYLEE~
I liked being with Grandma and Grandpa. I liked playing in the snow. I liked my boots and pajamas.
TRAE~
I liked the snow and I liked snow boarding and sledding. I liked drinking eggnog. I enjoyed opening presents. I liked the pajamas Grandma and Grandpa gave me. Swimming in the pool was fun. I liked being with my cousins and Grandma and Grandpa.
TAEO~
I liked being with Grandma and Grandpa. I enjoyed riding the snowboard and sleds in the snow. I liked eating pancakes in the morning. I liked playing with my cousins. Most of all I enjoyed being at the cabin.
MAELYNNE~
I liked sledding and swimming. I liked the food especially the fudge. I enjoyed playing with the dogs. I liked sleeping upstairs. I liked the pajamas Grandma and Grandpa gave me. I had fun opening presents. I liked sledding with my mom and dad. I liked playing with Ellyana. I liked the boots I got for my present.
MEIRENE~I got to spend time with grandma and grandpa. I got to know them better. Even though I was scared of the snow I went out and played in the snow, in my swim suit. I had a great time going sledding with my cousins and going swimming with them. I like that grandma spent time getting things ready for us, I appreciate that. I like this Christmas because even though we didn't have fancy gifts and lots of things we had the best Christmas ever. I love how grandma knows what to get everyone, how she matches personalities. Even though we slept and lived in a small space we all got along. I think this Christmas was about Jesus and family together and learning more about family and getting to know each other better.
TYSON~
I was so glad to see snow and have a white Christmas. I was glad to be at one of my most favorite places in the world. I was happy to be with my family and loved spending time with grandma and grandpa. I was happy I got a pair of new pajamas. I am happy to have a phone so I can keep in contact with my friends in Texas. I am happy I got to go sledding even though I hurt my bumm. I am happy my cousins came up and we got to go to the hot pool with them. I am happy I got to go home with my cousins and spend time with them. I am happy I got to watch a movie with my uncles family. Got to watch three great movies, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, Christmas Story, and Super 8. I got to spend a day with my cousins, and I got to see my cousins new place. I got to be home and crank up the music I like. I freaked spending time in the house alone even though I had the music cranked. All around it was a fun time spent with my family doing amazing things and eating LOTS of good food.
MacKelti~
I'll start with Christmas. Christmas in the past has always been family and man learning experiences. This year we went up to the cabin for Christmas, I hadn't been to the cabin for Christmas in 7 years. I had forgotten all the fun that being apart from the world was like.
On our way to the cabin I started to feel sick, partly from the drive and the pressure, and partly from being excited. When we got to the cabin we had a hard time parking bessie. We parked best we could for the moment and unpacked. The cabin was decorated and glowing, showing me how much time, care, and effort grandma had put into it. I unpacked and saw mom and grandpa(double trouble) trying to park bessie up higher. I ran down to help and had a blast jumping in the back of the bus. I saw how much grandpa and mom are alike, with their can-do attitudes and their determination. They got bessie in a position they were ok with and went inside, we then all gathered around and ate hot dogs. That night we just relaxed, got ourselves situated in and watched National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.
The next day we got up and I helped grandma and mom fix breakfast. It was delicious, we had pancakes, hash browns, eggs, and bacon. The bacon though was not very nice it kept popping and burning me. Later I went sledding with Tychicus, Mia, Mylee and Trae. I also played go fish and made a necklace for mom. After a relaxing afternoon, we had tacos and other junk foods for dinner. After dinner we settled down and opened our Christmas presents from grandma and grandpa. We all got pajamas, I love mine very much and wouldn't trade them for any other present in the world. We then watched a Christmas story, but afterward we headed to bed.
We woke up and found pringles, coca-cola's and life savers on the coffee table. We waited till everyone was awake before we opened presents. Mom passed presents out to everyone and we opened them all at once. It was amazing to see every one's joy. I then passed out my presents for others and was so happy to see that everyone enjoyed them(they weren't anything fancy, just simple) I then opened my present from MaeLynne and Tony. The gifts were gifts that were thought about, not just thrown together for anyone. I then got a small present from mom, it was a set of earrings. I was so surprised and so glad for what they represent(my special earrings that got lost). We played for awhile then I helped make the food. We all ate way to much and were lucky that we could still stand. That night we just snacked and watched Shrek.
The next day we had surprise guests, our cousins. I then spent the day outside sledding with them. It was fun until they had to leave. After they were gone for an hour they came back and Emilee was going to stay the night. I then played speed with her and then played go fish with grandpa. He was fun to play with and I had a great time with him. That night we ate leftovers and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
The next day we packed up and were ready to leave, but Bessie wouldn't start. While the adults were trying to fix it, we had a snow(ice)ball fight. It was fun and on our way to the bus I slipped and fell on the ice. It was funny yet painful. This Christmas Vacation was a blast and will be remembered forever and for always.
TYCHICUS~
It was awesome seeing snow. I liked hanging out with Grandma and spend time playing with my siblings. I liked the part when Bessie wouldn't start and when she got stuck going up the hill. Tyson and I went over to the boyscout camp and walked all the way across. It was just fun. The best part of it was the whole thing, it was ALL good.
TONY~
We were altogether as a family. I enjoyed how we start our Christmas morning. I enjoyed sledding. Playing games, unplugged, was fun. I enjoyed Grandma and Papa being there, they are fun. Going to the cabin for Christmas was a fun trip. Having our cousins come up was one of the best gifts. The food was amazing. I also enjoyed watching mom trying to get Bessie up the hill and getting stuck, so funny.
MIA~
I liked sledding. I enjoyed spending time with grandma and family. I enjoyed playing with siblings and my cousins. I enjoyed the food. I enjoyed Christmas, celebrating Jesus' birth. I liked sledding in my swim suit and it was very cold but so fun. I love the boots I got for Christmas. I didn't like the fact I had to wait for Christmas.
MEILAROSE~
I enjoyed sledding especially when we went out in just our swim suits. The food was good too. I liked opening presents on Christmas eve and morning. I liked our cousins coming to visit and going swimming with them.
MYLEE~
I liked being with Grandma and Grandpa. I liked playing in the snow. I liked my boots and pajamas.
TRAE~
I liked the snow and I liked snow boarding and sledding. I liked drinking eggnog. I enjoyed opening presents. I liked the pajamas Grandma and Grandpa gave me. Swimming in the pool was fun. I liked being with my cousins and Grandma and Grandpa.
TAEO~
I liked being with Grandma and Grandpa. I enjoyed riding the snowboard and sleds in the snow. I liked eating pancakes in the morning. I liked playing with my cousins. Most of all I enjoyed being at the cabin.
MAELYNNE~
I liked sledding and swimming. I liked the food especially the fudge. I enjoyed playing with the dogs. I liked sleeping upstairs. I liked the pajamas Grandma and Grandpa gave me. I had fun opening presents. I liked sledding with my mom and dad. I liked playing with Ellyana. I liked the boots I got for my present.
December 12, 2011
THE RIPPLE
I swear I should have been born a boy. I love boy things and hate girly, princessy, dressy garbage. I always wanted to learn to spit like a boy (I have yet to accomplish that one) I want to run like a boy (sans bouncage boobage) I want to throw balls like boys, and I want to throw rocks like boys (I could easily skip out on tinkling behind trees though).
Yesterday I shared my dream with my neighbor. The same dream I refused to share with my husband earlier in the day. I was afraid of his response to my "dream" and since I live in my own little dream world, dreaming a dream in a dream is really far out there I suppose.
I have had a really rough few months. For all the good and great things that have come from our move I have side stepped and fallen and depression caught hold of me and I am shaking it little by little. But I have started to dream again.
I used to dream of walking in my dads footsteps. I told him I wanted to be President of the Idaho Funeral Directors because I thought of that as a huge accomplishment for a little person like me (how I view myself not actual physical size). But I gave away my dream and God gave me some wonderful blessings instead. I have spent the last 10 years at home raising my family. They have been the most challenging and enjoyable times of my life. I LOVE my kids being home. I love my little chickens in their nest. I love being a mom.
Since our move I am not needed at home during the day while the kids are in school. This is the first time I have been alone at home all day for 10 years. I don't like it. I feel closed in and then I find myself closing in. So a while back I let myself dream about going back to work. I filled in a day or two here and there and that is what it took for my dream to start playing. So I want to share my dream not because it is special to anyone else but me but because I pray my dream will be a ripple of blessings to others.
My dream is to buy a funeral home to provide job security for friends and family and to give me something to do (a purpose to get out of the house). My dream is for the business to grow and flourish and touch many peoples lives, as a ministry would. The business would then allow me to go back to school to complete my degree. I wanted to be a grief counselor to help those who have lost loved ones, but this is where the focus on my dream has changed. I still want to help those who grieve but I also want to help the children, the ones traumatized by loss in their lives through adoption. (see how God tweaks dreams)
I never in my life thought of helping children, I always thought of helping older folks in need. Doing work at a senior center or just a small support group in the community. But there are other needs out there that need to be addressed. Perhaps if I can learn more life skills to deal with traumatized children I could open a group home for those who have lost their adopted home due to disruption or offer respite for periods of time while adoptive families recollect themselves, strengthen themselves, and are ready for another of life's adventures.
I have thrown many rocks and watched them ripple across the pond. I have recently tossed some very special rocks in and watched them sink, helplessly as I wondered why in the world did I try to skip my best rock. The splash in the face is always a reality. But even a splash has some sort of a ripple, it just takes time (and a lot of prayer sometimes) to find the smallest ripple.
So, for now I pray my life has a ripple affect. I am not sure if it will be through my dream or whether God will modify things again in His way (as long as its His way I am ok with it). I just want my life to leave a ripple on the pond of life so that someone else can learn to toss another valuable rock and have it skip many times across the pond of life.
May my life leave lasting ripples upon someones life.
SERVING VS BEING SERVED
I love taking care of other people. I delight in an opportunity to give or just be with someone who needs a shoulder. It makes me light up to give something to someone and especially if I can give it without anyone knowing who gave it. If I work I give the money to others, after all our needs are met. Serving is just something that is in me, I love it, I feel alive when I get to do it. I don't really like organized serving the "have to do it weekly" kind but I love the sneak in and serve in the background kind of thing. Serving is freeing to me.
Last year for Christmas we couldn't provide gifts for our kids. We had our needs met but not extra money for gifts and we don't do the credit card thing so we were headed for a pretty slim gift giving time. It was hard to admit that we couldn't do something special for our kids. That is when God stepped in and put us on some wonderful people's hearts. A private school adopted our family for Christmas and as the gifts filled up our bus I just cried. I couldn't stop the tears. They rolled down my cheeks one right after another. We had been given a great gift, not just of presents but of His love, after all, most of the people who gave never knew our family. It was the most relaxing and REAL Christmas we ever had. We were also given a gift card for groceries and we used that to share our love with others who had no family in the area. We had a wonderful Christmas day lunch with amazing people. Christmas took on a new meaning last year! We were served by others and as humbling as it was, it was a HUGE blessing (and I hear it was a blessing for those who gave to us as well).
So yesterday I went over to my friends house and we talked about this whole Christmas thing and how I am really struggling with necessity verses abundance. I told her about how I love to serve but I don't ask or take help well (or gifts) and she said "part of being a good Christian is not just serving but allowing others to serve you". OUCH! Her words hit dead on. I know those things in my heart but allowing them to happen is another story.
So I sit and ponder all the things in my mind. I see my kids wanting to serve others and wonder if it is me rubbing off on them or if they were gifted with servants hearts. I look at my husband serving me (I have been allowing him to help me in little things~he brought me a blankey to cover me up for rest time yesterday *yes I know it is little but I generally do it myself) and I smile that his heart has changed over the years as well.
I wonder at times if my servants heart was a gift or a learned behavior. My folks have served others all my life. I have seen them give up countless holidays to help others in need. I have seen them leave full plates of food on the table so they could be with others dealing with grief. They have left restaurants without eating, come back from vacation early, dropped everything in their lives at the ring of the phone and served others. Perhaps it was a learned behavior for them as well or perhaps it is a gift they were given. I see that they are most happy when doing for others.
So as I contemplate what to do for Christmas for my friends and family I look up and just ask God for guidance. After all everything I have is a gift from Him and we need to be wise in our choices. Our kids need to enjoy the spirit of receiving this year as well but part of what they receive they are gifting to others. So tonight we will be looking up what we can do for others who are less fortunate than us. Those who cannot go to church because they don't have fancy enough clothes. Those who work so hard so they can provide one meal a day for their family. Those who leave before the sun comes up and walk hours to the market only to return when the sun is down to their family already in bed, every single day. Those who don't have access to clean water or health care. Those who were blessed to be born in a 3rd world country (yes I did say blessed because at times *most times* I feel it is a burden to live in a country with so much).
Sometimes others question why I do so much for other people when I could do so much more for my kids. They wonder why I go to Haiti. They ask why not help those here in America. They wonder why our kids have hand-me-downs and we still give to others. So many questions and yet I can only shake my head as my mind goes back to the things I have seen and experienced. I can never undo what I have seen, heard, smelled, experienced in my lifetime. I don't want to forget those faces I have seen. The children with swollen bellies in red hair, the younger siblings of my children need to be remembered.
So serving and being served.... they go hand in hand. Both are equally important. In order for me to serve someone must be served. In order for me to be served someone must serve. How can we refuse a blessing like that?
Wrapping my mind around it all is hard. I love taking a step back and looking at things in a different light. Yesterday it was just nice to see my life through my friends eyes.
Life is good
live it
don't just survive it
December 04, 2011
Its Christmas
November 15, 2011
A HARD LOOK AT ME
It seems I have been learning a lot lately. Maybe learning about me isn't the right term, perhaps being perplexed by myself would be better.
The kids and I were watching a show the other night. The teenage girl in the movie developed cancer. Her boyfriend remained by her and even led the prayer group she had started at school. After her release from the hospital the girl felt like God was asking her to share her faith with others and so she started speaking to groups. The boyfriend grew weary of her cancer scare and felt the girl didn't have enough time for him. He asked a simple question that has raced through my mind since that day:
WHY WON'T YOU LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU?
The question was just, he asked out of love. His heart was so troubled and the pain so obvious on his face.
Her answer is the reason I am sitting here this morning:
I DON'T NEED ANYONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME!
She didn't say it in a mean way, it was just very factual.
I could see the hurt in his eyes and the truth in hers, it was an honest reply.
So here I am. Pondering why I have said those same words to so many people in my life. I have said them more than I care to admit. I really feel like I don't need anyone to take care of me and yet my heart aches when those I love don't take care of me. I guess there are too very different aspects of this that I look at.
I was raised to not rely on anyone to do something you can do for yourself. So I have taught myself to be independent, often TOO independent! I can take care of most anything that is put in front of me. Give me something to conquer and I will or I will sure beat myself up trying! I have learned to plumb, to play with electricity, to build things, to cook for this many people daily, to keep up with life, and to maintain a pretty healthy outlook while doing it all. I don't feel like relying on others (however I do like knowing I am close enough to others to step in if needed~say if I die j/k). So I have learned the art of being whatever I need to be at the moment to get the job done and done pretty darn good.
THEN there is the other side of me: don't learn to do something you don't want to have to do.
I carry a huge sack of rotten potatoes with me daily. I keep adding to my sack with the failures of my life, the things I have carried with me since I was young, and things I carry with me for things I felt I could never do "good enough". So the inside of me races while the outside of me figures things out so I don't have to ask for help. So my insides scream for help hoisting these potatoes around when I really do need someone to take care of me. I don't want to learn how to hand over my potatoes to someone. Wouldn't their sack fill up? Part of me wants to learn to let others do for me but part of me doesn't.
SEE THE CONFLICT HERE?
Really I have no idea how the 2 aspects can live inside of me. I probably seem like I have things mostly together but the reality of it is no one ever has it ALL together!
The reason the girls response hit me so hard is because I wasn't looking at her when she said it, I was looking at him. He wanted so bad to be let into her life and take care of her.
I always thought I was helping others out by not letting them take care of me. I was just lessening their load of rotten potatoes is how I justified it. But the reality of it is people really do want to take care of me because they want to, not because they need to or because they have to. I guess in my trying to take care of them by not letting them take care of me I was actually causing more problems with me and with them.
Usually when Paul asks a question similar to this I am so busy doing whatever it is that needs taken care of that I don't look at his face when I give the standard "I don't need anyone to take care of me" answer. I am sure that the first few times his face resembled that boyfriends, even though I was too busy to notice. Perhaps after that the standard answer just bounces off of him, perhaps he is still hurt but has hardened up to it. I don't know his answer all I know is that I have been taking a hard look at me and the more I see the more I am perplexed.
So I am going to ponder this more and with my eyes open I will let others in. I am sure it won't be easy but I hear you can train an old dog to do tricks.
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